Ludwig
07-31-2006, 04:14 PM
Drummer Jokes
The band leader had a drummer who dragged (duh). After remonstrating
with him without success the band leader had to fire him. The drummer
was so
distraught that he went down to the railway station and threw himself
behind a train.
General Custer and his aide were in the fort. The aide said, "General, I
don't like the sound of those drums."
From over the hill you hear a voice yell, "He's not our regular
drummer."
Q: How many female singers does it take to sing "Crazy"?
A: Apparently, all of them.
Q: How do you put a twinkle in a female singer's eye?
A: Shine a light in her right ear.
Q: How can you tell when a female vocalist is at the front door?
A: She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in counterpoint?
A: Have them read off the same part.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Phil
Woods would have done it.
7. You have the right to sing the blues if:
a. you're blind
b. you shot a man in Memphis
c. you can't be satisfied
8. But not if:
a. you shot an 85 at golf
b. your Dad left you a trust fund
c. you once were blind but now can see
9. Good places for the blues:
a. a highway
b. a jailhouse
c. an empty bed
d. a freight train
10. Bad places for the blues:
a. Yellowstone National Park
b. The country club
c. gallery openings
d. The Hamptons
11. If you ask for water and yo 'baby' give you gasoline, that's
the blues. Other blues drinks include:
a. wine
b. whiskey
c. muddy water
12. Blues beverages do not include:
a. any drink with an umbrella
b. any wine kosher for Passover
c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors)
d. Jello shots
13. Picking a blues name:
a. start with an infirmity (Blind, Li'l, Fat, Lame, Clubfoot)
b. add Willie, Johnny or Joe
c. Pick a U.S. President (Washington, Johnson, Fillmore, or
Roosevelt)
d. Persons with names like Ashley, Brittney, Chad, Kimberly,
McKenzie, Brad or Tyler may not sing the blues, no matter
how many men they shoot in Memphis.
The band leader had a drummer who dragged (duh). After remonstrating
with him without success the band leader had to fire him. The drummer
was so
distraught that he went down to the railway station and threw himself
behind a train.
General Custer and his aide were in the fort. The aide said, "General, I
don't like the sound of those drums."
From over the hill you hear a voice yell, "He's not our regular
drummer."
Q: How many female singers does it take to sing "Crazy"?
A: Apparently, all of them.
Q: How do you put a twinkle in a female singer's eye?
A: Shine a light in her right ear.
Q: How can you tell when a female vocalist is at the front door?
A: She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in counterpoint?
A: Have them read off the same part.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Phil
Woods would have done it.
7. You have the right to sing the blues if:
a. you're blind
b. you shot a man in Memphis
c. you can't be satisfied
8. But not if:
a. you shot an 85 at golf
b. your Dad left you a trust fund
c. you once were blind but now can see
9. Good places for the blues:
a. a highway
b. a jailhouse
c. an empty bed
d. a freight train
10. Bad places for the blues:
a. Yellowstone National Park
b. The country club
c. gallery openings
d. The Hamptons
11. If you ask for water and yo 'baby' give you gasoline, that's
the blues. Other blues drinks include:
a. wine
b. whiskey
c. muddy water
12. Blues beverages do not include:
a. any drink with an umbrella
b. any wine kosher for Passover
c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors)
d. Jello shots
13. Picking a blues name:
a. start with an infirmity (Blind, Li'l, Fat, Lame, Clubfoot)
b. add Willie, Johnny or Joe
c. Pick a U.S. President (Washington, Johnson, Fillmore, or
Roosevelt)
d. Persons with names like Ashley, Brittney, Chad, Kimberly,
McKenzie, Brad or Tyler may not sing the blues, no matter
how many men they shoot in Memphis.